Tarot, Intimate Relationships, Sexual Desires…
What's important to you in relationships?
Todays article covers many different bits and pieces of dating and various relationship topics. There are soooo many more angles, depending on where you want to be. Feel free to leave any related comments below.
These are some of the general topics that come up in Sex Coaching. You are always welcome to message me about your situation, book a free Discovery Call on my website or book Sex Coaching sessions at ivaveazey.com
Tarot sessions are available as well and can cover a wide range of erotic and relational issues. These are not full coaching sessions and will be focused on how the card spread relates to your life at this time.
Take a moment to examine the tarot art in the cards below. How do you see these expressions in relationship to your lover or idea of a future lover? Use the keywords in the description and pictures to expand these ideas for yourself through journaling or discussions.
Do you inspire and are you inspired with a sense of freedom and synchronicity as you begin to connect with a potential lover? Do you offer and feel valued/cherished by that person? How do you maintain this energy through out time to maintain a pleasurable, ongoing loving companionship?
Having the desire to create an intimate relationship with another person takes a variety of steps along the way. When there are efforts by both people to “unpack their baggage” together, there needs to be a sincere effort to make a harmonious relationship the priority. We all have issues and it’s a special thing to find someone that sincerely wants to communicate in ways that are beneficial within relationship dynamics.
Stepping into more desired connections involves knowing the self first and what issues and trauma triggers are in the mix. Are you both willing to step into the challenge of releasing old programs and responses? Can you look within when you feel something is “missing”? This takes time, often requiring (very important) going to council together to provide a third and professional perspective.
Intimacy between compatible people brings mutual affection, sexual connection, synchronicity, caring moments, angst, turmoil and disputes. Understanding one another takes time and a desire to gently find caring ways for how you relate and interact. Pretty common knowledge, but easier said than done…
Compatibility is essential if you’re going for the long haul. That does include sexual compatibility. Sexual attraction and sexual compatibility can be 2 different things.
First, this is not about “you complete me”. It’s a card about unity and understanding the past in order to receive a brighter future. Also, it suggests accepting another as they are, as well as accepting yourself. This announces new beginnings.
Some people look for the other person to change when the connection isn’t there or things feel one-sided. Generally that can be a dead end street. People are who they are and it’s important to realize that from day one. Ignoring red flags or incompatibility is exhausting.
Trying to convince yourself that “not everyone is perfect” when you see things that are more than just slightly off isn’t the best way to create a relationship. If someone is arrogant, dismissive, uses excessive praise then ignores you, creates false futures, is insincere… it’s best to reconsider your relationship to that person. This applies to lovers, friends and other types of relationships you may engage in.
Sometimes there is an immediate breathtaking sexual attraction between two people. That’s the time to really stop and look beyond the sexual moment. What does that mean to both of you?
I’ve heard that called “love at first trauma response” by (click here) HOLISTICPSYCHOLOGIST . I certainly appreciate the way she puts things into perspective. A reminder that we can easily be drawn to someone that triggers past emotional and sexual wounds. That’s not always a bad thing - it just takes introspection and open communication around how that is playing out for both of you.
When we are desiring sex with a particular person, if it’s just about chasing the next dopamine hit, you might want to step back and consider the whole picture. There can be a lack of sincerity when the motivation is more of a frantic compulsion. Anytime this is an issue for you, before engaging with someone, take the time to feel your breath, your heartbeat. Sit with any strain in your muscles. Next, what thoughts come to mind? Your thoughts in this moment can assist in finding the constraint behind the compulsion.
If you are both just looking for a one night stand, then by all means, discuss the basics of what you are both looking for and dive in deep for the moment if you’ve found a match.
If one person is looking for something casual and the other person is looking for a partnership, it’s best to be honest from the first moment you discuss your intentions.
Here we see a variation on the Hanged Man. This is depicting short-lived love and deceptions. A time to turn the corner is often a message of a “hanged” XII tarot card.
When I started dating as a teenager, there was a guy that convinced me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Starry eyed teenager that I was, I thought that’s how life should be. I bought that story hook, line and sinker. Though I was hesitant to be physical after dating only a few weeks, he worked his way between my legs in my parents living room with my dad due home from work at any minute. Dipping his wick in my well was really all he wanted and that was the last I saw of him.
All too often a person can convince themselves that they really can’t get someone to respond to them in the ways that they would like, so they “Love-Bomb” to get other peoples sexual attention. In other words, they are charming and attentive and caring in ways that they don’t intend to maintain. They are insincere. It’s generally a manipulation.
How do you express your desires?
Consider this - desires can show you who you are becoming…
I’ll be tag teaming an article soon with Chiara called Many Fools, which covers the aspects of the Fool card in different tarot decks. He’s quite the mysterious and adventuresome character. Be sure to keep watch for this one.
Thanks for joining me today. If you would like more information, you are always welcome to book a brief free session or full coaching or tarot session here: TAROT & COACHING
Subscribing to my Substack will get you a monthly email tarot reading as well.
XOXO
How do sexual attraction and sexual compatibility differ? I love the “love at first trauma” reference. I definitely feel like some of my strongest attractions have been unconsciously to others whom bring up trauma wounds for me. It’s like I am drawn to someone because I want to work out my wounded ness. I also must say really like this idea of using the tarot to approach the issues of sex and sexuality. Somehow if seems it makes these topics more approachable.
Speaking personally, sexual compatibility requires sexual attraction. Cannot have sex with someone i'm not attracted to, both physically and mentally, in any real way.