Intimacy Coaching and Tarot
Last call for May - Masturbation Month: masturbating another person
Greetings everyone,
Not sure if this really counts as masturbation in everyone’s book, but getting another person off with your hands or other body parts while they lay back and enjoy the ride is a fun way to add variety to your sexual experiences. I think of this as a lesson from the queer community. It’s great for 2 or more people.
Let’s talk about a two person experience. While these things can fall into place casually, like while watching a movie together, you can really spice things up if you plan ahead.
Things to consider together before beginning:
have lots of your favorite lube or coconut oil nearby
if you want to be tied down, make sure you have restraints handy. That can be anything from scarves to tie you to a bed post to heavy artillery, such as items from (click here) EXTREME
If being tied down appeals to you, do you want it to be in a bed, against the wall, on a wooden fence or some other place?
Do you want to be stroked and touched with fingers, hands, sex toys, feathers, a sensation wheel?
Do you want someone to attach things to your nipples or genitals like clothes pins, nipple clamps, cock ring or cock cage?
Are you interested in incorporating a vibrator, butt plug or dildo?
Create the “rules of the game” before you begin. It can be as simple as one person stroking the genitals of another, then switching - to an entire day or weekend of I touch you, then you touch me. Be sure to buy or have handy anything of interest so that it is available for the festivities.
The Knave of Swords Seems to have found an admiring fan. Knaves in ancient tarot are generally considered champions on the battle field, not quite the status of Knights, but pretty close.
Overall, this card indicates pleasure. Pretty simple and pleasing. In some spreads it may indicate that you are being somehow mislead or distracted for nefarious purposes. Think of the femme fatal archetype such as a female villain in a James Bond movie. :)
With a card like this in your spread, I would advise really knowing the person you’re getting involved with during this time. If your plans are with someone you know well and you both have developed a deep trust together, I’d say that the time is ripe for a really fun time.
Here we see the Queen being tended to by her Lady-in-Waiting. I guess that is one of the perks of being royalty. But of course, anyone can create a role play of Queen and attendant, or King and servant. Or cat and mouse - your call.
Certain venues lend themselves to erotic role play. Some sexy places to play dress up are Comic-con and Renaissance Faires.
This card in more modern decks can mean rejecting traditional, superficial roles and stepping into something more authentic. If this were in your card spread, it could be asking you to be open to sensual advice from a woman.
Once at a BDSM play party, a woman asked me to provide some gentle care to her after she had been flogged rather briskly. The front of her body had not received any flogging and she asked that I gently stroke the top of her naked body as she lay on the mat on the floor. I was thoroughly enjoying massaging her lovely body when a man in the group came over and asked to assist. So I welcomed him to her left side and I stayed on her right. He awkwardly moved his hands over her shoulder and arm. Then he stepped back and said, please teach me - you are an artist at this. He was mesmerized by two women interacting in such a way.
Always ask for guidance when you are not sure how someone needs to be touched. And how can we ever really know without communicating about it? In the case of this woman, she had given me instructions on how to care for her. The man came over and realized that he needed a visual demonstration. He was eager to learn. I am betting his partner appreciated his touch all the more after that evening.
This was a young woman that had never been touched by another woman in a sensual way. It was also her first BDSM experience. Once the evening was over and we were all going our separate ways, she whispered some really sweet words into my ear. I wanted to gobble her up in that moment, but it was not an option.
While love and lust are indifferent to money, fame and royalty, there is advisement in this card to remember that possessions, status and money can influence how someone may want to engage in intimate ways with you.
How does this work in your world? Is it exciting to find someone that wants to share great wealth for exotic experiences and adventures? Or do you prefer, no matter the financial details, to keep things simple and practical? Having this card in your spread will indicate a time to ask these kinds of questions of yourself and anyone you want to become involved with.
Is being more yourself about money or other things? Or both?
To wrap up this topic, be sure to make it fun for everyone involved. This can be a great tool for working with an uneven desire between lovers, and a way to ensure that everyone gets what they want. For example someone might have a “not tonight” feeling about receiving manual stimulation but has no problem giving.
I cover issues around this topic in my sex coaching practice. If you are curious about how sex coaching works, be sure to sign up for a Discovery Call HERE
Many thanks to Chiara Sarter for her editing skills today. Her fabulous art projects are keeping her busy these days but
she’ll be joining in for some co-writing in the near future.
Thanks for reading today. Feel free to leave comments.
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XOXOXO
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Luvvin this one! Many 😊 thanks.