Erotic Tarot as a tool in Sex Coaching
And introducing Chiara Sarter...
Hello Friends of Sex Discussions,
I would like to introduce you to a colleague and friend of mine, Chiara Sarter. We collaborated on the article and she wrote the HISTORY segment. You’ll find her bio at the bottom of this page.
You can also find her new Substack @ https://chiarasarter.substack.com/
Using Tarot as a tool in coaching can be a useful framework for digging deeper into issues around intimacy and pleasure. The idea came to me after doing outdoor festival booths and using a card draw to open conversations with people passing by.
Since the time that I put forth the idea of using tarot in casual festival settings, I found that it helps with both couples or individual client sessions. It unlocks doors to self understanding with anyone that is open to the process.
One explanation for why this has been so useful to so many clients is that it creates a foundation for both individual and partner sessions to communicate about their needs and desires.
Often there are “ah ha” moments for a client when the cards suggest an angle that they hadn’t previously considered.
For instance, if someone is struggling with chaos and overwhelm at that time, cards ruled by Libra such as Adjustment/Justice can suggest ways of finding equilibrium and balance.
Tarot as a window of self understanding
There’s no dogma or one right answer when using tarot. You might think of it as a message in story form.
For example, the cards may provide a metaphor for moving past patterns that may be keeping a person’s sex life stale. Some people respond to the pictures on the cards, while others might find the underlying energies to be more insightful.
Each individual responds to the card pulls in their own way. It’s not so much about the cards being the absolute answer, but more about the client receiving the information that speaks to them.
A quick view of the spread above might draw attention to the ways that a person expresses their emotions and deals with the unseen aspects of their situation.
With that in mind, how do they incorporate useful emotional elements and ideas into their daily life? Are they expressing them in way that others can appreciate? They may have doubts or a lack of playfulness which can be something to focus on in a session.
Tarot can be eye opening for many. But it is not for everyone. Let us know in the comments if you have any thoughts or questions about the combination of tarot and sex coaching.
A Brief History of Sex and the Tarot
The history of Tarot itself is long and convoluted at best, even more so is sex and tarot. Despite “official history” being scarce, there are many cards which have long-standing associations with eroticism, relationships and sex such as The Empress, Two of Cups or “Love”, Lust or “Strength,” The Lovers and many more.
Additionally, a number of niche erotic decks have been published beginning in the late 1980s and continuing through the present day. Some of these decks are based on ancient erotic/ spiritual systems such as Kamasutra Tarot (2006) and Tantric Tarot (2002). Others generalize erotic imagery like Tarot Erotica (1989) or cover even more niche applications of the erotic as in The Sensual Wicca Tarot (2007).
A review of previous and current erotic tarot decks can reveal a few interesting points: Often, erotic decks have been advertised as a “gimmick” or satiric deck, they have largely been cis-hetero-dominant as well as white, thin and able-body dominant. I am pleased to see a prominent shift happening across many cultural areas- tarot being no exception.
In the age of self-publishing, where independent creators are able to market and sell their creations without a publishing company, some barriers are beginning to be broken down. Some personal favorite examples of such creations include Exotic Cancer tarot, Sex Positive Tarot, and Tarot Erotique (a friendly reminder here to always purchase directly from independent artists!).
Additionally, there are an increasing number of decks and games created with the purpose of increasing pleasure, intimacy and sexual fun, such as our very own Iva Veazey’s deck Designing Pleasure, Esther Perel’s Where Should We Begin?, and the exceptionally entertaining card game Hedonism and Debauchery.
It’s worth mentioning some barriers to these valuable resources moving into the mainstream due to living in a culture rooted in sex-negativity. Thanks purity culture ;)
As I apply my lenses of perspective; as a professional sex coach, using tarot as a tool for self-analysis passed down through generations, and being a visual artist since the time I learned to hold a pencil- I feel summoned to bring my deck The Divine Harlot Tarot into existence.
This is also a call for more creative souls (which means everyone) to celebrate their eroticism, explore its depths, find the upper limits of their pleasure spectrums, and put more work into this wild world which displays the erotic as the power it is.
You’ll find me @pleasurespectrums on IG…
We appreciate you joining us today. We have had fun discussing the possibilities around incorporating tarot into our sex coaching over the past 2 years. If you would like a free Discovery call to find out more, you can reach me at ivavz@mac.com
Leave us a comment or any questions you may have below. Please share with anyone that you feel may have an interest in this topic.
Where can I find this deck?